Anna Höpflinger
Picture: Marie-Therese Mäder
A few months ago, I was invited to a protestant wedding in Switzerland. When the bride and groom came out of the church, their way was blocked by a bed sheet held by two guests. The bride and groom were handed a pair of scissors. They had to cut their way through. Together. The groom and bride snipped a heart into the sheet and then they stepped through this opening. The guests applauded cheerfully.
After this somewhat surprising interruption, we went to celebrate in a restaurant. Soon the mood was jovial, the guests were having fun, and the bride and groom were happy. Delicious canapés were served, and there was a nice speech by the bride’s father, followed by a raffle. Then the bride and groom were asked to wedge a balloon between their bodies and pass an obstacle course. They succeeded on their second attempt. Again the performance was rewarded with a hearty round of applause. Next to me, a young woman whispered that she would never want such games at her wedding.
We continued to eat and talk, but suddenly the sound of a gong interrupted the party. It was announced that the bride had been kidnapped. The groom turned a little pale, but it was quickly made clear to him that this was also a game. He had to solve a few tasks to “rescue” his bride. He passed the test and soon the bride and groom were reunited.
Now they were asked to cut the wedding cake – it was white and decorated with sugar roses – together. “You have to watch closely because whoever keeps their hand on top will later call the shots in marriage,” someone next to me laughed. The groom grabbed the silver knife, the bride put her hand on his, and together they solved this tricky case too. This time we, the guests, were rewarded, with a piece of delicious cake.
What the young woman next to me had called “wedding games” may seem strange at first glance. But in terms of cultural history, these games are quite interesting: for they are not just games, we can interpret them as rituals. The bride and groom, or even just the groom, have to prove themselves ritually worthy of being married. Traditionally, it is the single people who put obstacles in the way of the freshly married couple, such as the aforementioned bed sheet (which is a reference to the wedding night) or, for example, a tree trunk that has to be sawn in two. The bride and groom must overcome these obstacles to show that they can solve a task together and are thus worthy of marriage. Cutting the wedding cake together also falls into this category; it is a task that must be performed collaboratively. Today, cutting the cake together is one of the highlights of the festivity. It is captured in many photos and shared on social media. These pictures often symbolise a beautiful celebration.
Less popular today are the more violent games, even though they can still be found, as seen above. They are games that test the bride and groom in their socially liminal status. A bedroom filled with balloons complicating the wedding night or the bride-kidnapping mentioned above are only two examples of this. Bridal snatching is a ritual of social status change and in this sense is focused on the groom: the single people want to prevent the groom from marrying, and thus from changing social status. So they kidnap the bride. The groom must prove himself worthy of his new role and reclaim the bride. Underlying this sort of game is a worldview focused on the man.
Such wedding customs combine the ritual and the playful moment. Many wedding couples today find them rather distracting, as they often involve somewhat annoying tasks (that’s the point of them) and are not under the control of the couple. Historically, however, they are important elements in a rite of passage. They symbolise a social transition which has to be managed together and ritually prepares the freshly married couple for their new social status.